You're probably sick of hearing about DM strategies that sound like used car sales tactics. "Just send 50 messages a day!" "Use this script and watch the calls flood in!" "Pitch everyone who follows you!"

Here's the thing: that approach is exactly why your DMs feel like a graveyard and why you're burning out before you even book a single call.

The coaches teaching those strategies are missing the most crucial element: people can smell desperation through their phone screen. When you slide into someone's DMs with a copy-paste message about your "life-changing program," you're not building a business: you're becoming part of the noise everyone's trying to escape.

But what if I told you there's a completely different way? A system that books you consistent sales calls while actually making you excited to open your DMs each morning?

The Real Problem: You're Pitching Strangers, Not Building Relationships

Most entrepreneurs treat DMs like a slot machine. Send message, hope for response, pitch immediately if they reply. It's transactional, soul-crushing, and frankly, it doesn't work for sustainable business growth.

You've been taught to "scale" your outreach by treating people like numbers. Send 100 messages, get 10 responses, book 2 calls. The math sounds logical until you realize you're burning through your entire potential client base and building a reputation as "that pushy coach in everyone's DMs."

The real client-getting system isn't about volume: it's about connection. And connection requires you to actually give a shit about the person on the other side of the screen before you ever mention what you do.

The Give-a-Shit-Before-You-Pitch Method

This system revolves around one core principle: genuine interest in someone's world comes before any mention of your services. Period.

Here's how it works in practice:

When you come across someone who fits your ideal client profile: maybe they posted about a business challenge you help solve: don't immediately think "potential client." Think "interesting human I'd like to know better."

Your first DM isn't about you at all. It's about them. Comment thoughtfully on something specific they shared. Ask a follow-up question that shows you actually read their content. Share a relevant insight or resource without any strings attached.

The magic happens in message three, four, or sometimes ten. By then, you're not a stranger sliding into their DMs: you're someone who's been genuinely engaged in their journey.

The Three-Touch Connection Strategy

Instead of the spray-and-pray approach, use what I call the Three-Touch Connection Strategy:

Touch One: The Genuine Engagement
Find something they've posted that genuinely resonates with you. Not their most recent post: something from a few days ago that fewer people commented on. This shows you took time to look at their content, not just firing off messages to everyone who posted today.

Your message might be: "I saw your post about struggling to price your services confidently: that resonates so much. I went through the exact same thing last year. The comparison trap is real, right?"

Touch Two: The Value Add
A day or two later, share something valuable related to your previous conversation. Maybe an article, a tool you use, or a quick insight. No pitch. Just value.

"Hey! Remember when we were talking about pricing confidence? I just came across this article that completely shifted how I think about value-based pricing. Thought you might find it helpful: [link]"

Touch Three: The Natural Transition
Now you've built actual rapport. You know more about their challenges. They see you as someone who provides value. This is when you can naturally transition to a conversation about how you might help.

"I've been thinking about our conversation on pricing strategy. I actually help entrepreneurs work through exactly this kind of challenge. Would you be open to a quick chat to see if I could share some specific strategies that might help your situation?"

See the difference? You're not pitching: you're continuing a conversation that's already established.

The Daily System That Prevents Burnout

The reason most DM strategies lead to burnout is because they require you to be "on" constantly. You're always hunting, always selling, always in pitch mode.

This system is different because most of your interactions aren't sales conversations: they're relationship-building conversations. This makes the entire process more enjoyable and sustainable.

Here's your daily rhythm:

Morning (15 minutes): Engagement Round
Scroll through your feed and genuinely engage with 5-10 posts from people in your target market. Leave thoughtful comments. Send those "Touch One" messages to 2-3 people whose content genuinely resonated with you.

Midday (10 minutes): Value-Add Check
Follow up on any ongoing conversations. Share resources, answer questions, provide insights. No pitching: just being helpful.

Evening (10 minutes): Relationship Building
Review your ongoing DM conversations. Send "Touch Two" messages where appropriate. Continue building relationships with people you've connected with.

The beauty of this system? You're only actively "selling" maybe 20% of the time. The other 80% is relationship building, which feels natural and energizing rather than draining.

When and How to Make the Transition to Sales

The biggest question everyone has is: "When do I actually ask for the sale?"

The answer: When you have enough relationship equity that it feels natural to both of you.

You'll know it's time when:

• They start asking you questions about your work
• They share deeper challenges with you
• They respond quickly and enthusiastically to your messages
• They've engaged with your content or shared your resources

The transition itself should feel like the next logical step in your conversation, not a sudden gear shift. Instead of "I have a program that can help you," try:

"Based on everything you've shared about [specific challenge], I think I might be able to help you work through this. I work with entrepreneurs who are dealing with exactly this situation. Would you be open to a conversation about some specific strategies that could help?"

The Follow-Up System That Keeps Relationships Warm

Here's where most people drop the ball: they stop nurturing relationships after the first "no" or when someone doesn't immediately book a call.

Your potential clients aren't always ready to buy when you first connect. But if you've built a genuine relationship, they'll remember you when they are ready.

Create a simple system for staying in touch:

• Monthly check-ins with people you've connected with but haven't worked with yet
• Sharing relevant content with people when you come across something that would genuinely help them
• Congratulating them on wins and supporting them through challenges they share publicly

This isn't about being manipulative: it's about being human. Business is built on relationships, and relationships require ongoing investment.

Scaling Without Losing the Personal Touch

"But how do I scale this?" you're probably thinking. "This sounds like it takes forever!"

Here's the counter-intuitive truth: this method actually scales better than high-volume, low-connection approaches because:

1. Your conversion rate is dramatically higher when you have real relationships
2. People you connect with become referral sources, not just customers
3. You build a reputation as someone who genuinely cares, which attracts ideal clients
4. You avoid burning through your entire market with pushy tactics

To scale effectively:

• Use content to attract your ideal clients so they're already familiar with you
• Develop systems for tracking your relationships (a simple spreadsheet works)
• Focus on quality conversations with fewer people rather than surface-level contact with many
• Build authentic connections through social media that naturally lead to DM conversations

The Mindset Shift That Changes Everything

The biggest shift you need to make is this: stop thinking of DMs as a sales tool and start thinking of them as a relationship-building tool that sometimes leads to sales.

When you approach DMs with genuine curiosity about someone's business, challenges, and goals, everything changes. You're no longer the pushy salesperson everyone avoids: you're the thoughtful business owner everyone wants to connect with.

This approach takes longer to see initial results, but it builds something much more valuable: a network of people who actually know, like, and trust you.

And those people don't just buy from you: they refer others, share your content, and become advocates for your business.

The simplest client-getting system isn't about finding the perfect pitch or the highest-converting script. It's about being genuinely interested in the people you want to serve and building real relationships with them.

When you give a shit before you pitch, you don't just book more calls: you book calls with people who are already excited to work with you. And that's when sales conversations become collaborative discussions about how you can help, not uncomfortable pitches you hope will stick.

Start with one genuine conversation today. Just one. See how different it feels when you lead with curiosity instead of agenda. That feeling? That's what sustainable business growth actually feels like.